Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
