it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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