I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
