i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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