I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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