my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
