Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
