you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
