But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
