Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm always down for nudity.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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