I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
