C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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