All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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