Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize