I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
