I CAN MOONWALK!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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