just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
