break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
