I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
