I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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