I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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