bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
