If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
