we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
