i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
