white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
