After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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