Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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