We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
