It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
