so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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