what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
