mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
