I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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