my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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