I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize