The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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