Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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