mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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