No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you inspire me to be a worse person
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
