Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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