I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
