just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
