I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
