His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
