Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
