Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Bea Arthur died yesterday

(240): View more from Maryland

You shut your stupid mouth

(301): View more from Maryland

Betty White is next, I just know it.

(240): View more from Maryland

Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

dude, you're being a jerk.

(919): View more from North Carolina

sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face

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(423): View more from Tennessee

He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?

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(613): View more from Ontario

sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.

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