Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
