Whod you bang
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
