and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
